Victoria Potts Keale » The Life Blog

When accomplishment is relative…

Victoria Keale — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:23:37 +0000

Accomplishment. What a icky word. As I moved through today (and it’s Monday… so consider that) I had that devil on my shoulder saying “Vic, you’re not accomplishing anything today!” The clock kept ticking away and it didn’t seem like I was crossing anything off my to do list. Bear in mind, I was working all day. I was here at the computer doing work-related stuff, answering emails, talking to clients, doing pieces of projects. But as the day came to a close and I had only checked off one thing as complete, I felt really bad about myself.

So I decided to punch the little devil Vickie in the face and figure out a way to feel better. After all, I was working! I was not sitting on the couch watching Oprah (like I wanted to do), did not take a nap (like I REALLY wanted to do), did not spend time on Facebook (like I seem to always do)… I actually worked on stuff. So what was it that made me feel bad? How could I fix it?

Accomplish is defined:

1 : to bring about (a result) by effort
2 : to bring to completion
3 : to succeed in reaching (a stage in a progression)

In order to fix this vicious circle of doubt I get myself into, I’ve decided to ignore definition #2 in daily life.

From this point on, I am going to view accomplishments for the day in relative terms — Did I get a result from my effort? Did I reach a stage in a progression? Looking at my day today (which I felt nothing got done) I did in fact do both — I may not have finished any particular projects, but on all my tasks for the day I made forward progression, and I got a result (even if that means just an email reply from a client).

I’m going to try this new mental measurement out to see if it succeeds in shutting up that self-doubt devil. I’ll let you know how I do.

And then….

Then my son came home. Distraught. Crying. In a real bad way. It turns out that he got in trouble at school for misbehaving. After a little digging, I figured out that he was less upset about getting in trouble then he was scared (and embarrassed) because he never got the chance to explain himself and his intentions. Now he is worried that his teacher, and his friends, will come to their own conclusions about what he did and not like him / make fun of him / be mad at him. I could feel that misery. And I can relate.

Even though him breaking a rule and me not crossing off my to-do list are very different, the resulting self-doubt and worry are very similar. One voice in my head wanted to tell him “it doesn’t matter what others think of you!!” but I know that is BS. If it was true that others opinions didn’t matter, this world would be a much different place. It does matter — but the key is to limit your list of people whose opinion matters, and to segregate it based on the topic (i.e family stuff vs. business stuff vs. friend stuff). It’s hard to explain that to a 9 year old — heck, it’s hard to explain that to myself! — but I think it’s something that we all need to come to terms with. The idea that the only person you have to answer to is yourself is silly.

And now…

Now I am adding another portion to my get-rid-of-self-doubt plan. Accounting. Justifying my accomplishments for the day to myself is one thing, but I think that I also have to take that step and account for them to those whose opinions matter. I think that is the missing piece to the puzzle… letting my clients know where I am at with things, being honest about what’s possible and what’s not possible (one of my biggest problems – saying yes when I can’t follow through), and generally letting them know where they stand. I think I feel the most guilty at the end of my work day when I don’t have something finished and I think my client thinks I was just sitting around all day, doing nothing.

So I’m giving myself the same “homework” as I am my son. I am having him write a letter to his teacher explaining what he did, what his intentions were, what lessons he has learned, and asking her to help him right the situation. In my case, I am going to try and send “wrap up” emails to my clients who have open projects each day, letting them know where I am at, what stages have already been completed and what’s next.

So that’s that. I figured I’d blog about it to be a bit more accountable to myself so that I can work towards making my daily accountability emails habit. Maybe sending them will, in some way, give me closure that I did accomplish something each day, even if the shoulder-devil says otherwise.

If I blink, I may miss something…

Victoria Keale — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:17:53 +0000

So far, April has been my favorite month this year.

Since I’m feeling rather optimistic, I felt it time to update the personal blog for once (even though I don’t really have time for it…).

Back in March (long, long ago ) I decided to take the first few weeks of April “off” to get caught up with life. It was beginning to get too crazy here with pregnancy issues (sick, sick and more sick), a back log of honey-do’s in the house, overbooking myself with work, and then the regular life stuff. By the end of March, I was feeling like if I blinked, I would miss out on a ton of stuff – so instead I missed out on sleep, on “me time”, on “mom time”, on living… all in order to stay on top of life. Irony? Yes.

Now that my “catch up” time is in full swing, I’ve noticed that I am even busier when I don’t have a schedule then when I do. Again, that crazy irony. BUT the good news is that I have incorporated all those things I was giving up in order to stay on top into my daily routines, so that by the end of April — I will be Mrs. Got-It-Together (ha!). I can dream, right?

My husband and my daughter, camping at Hawn State Park

Here we are at day 7 of April. I’m proud of all my families accomplishments, so I’m bragging… here goes:

Went on our first camping trip of the year (hallelujah!). Only about 40 total hours of “roughin’ it”, but enough to get me back in touch with what’s important. Lesson Learned? Pregnant ladies cannot get a good night’s sleep on the floor of a tent.

Finally found a pediatrician!! It’s been 6 months since we lost our private insurance (my kiddos dad was laid off, so our great coverage went with the job) and we’ve been relying on that government stuff to get us by. Apparently there are not many kid doc’s who accept that insurance, so it’s been rough. BUT by necessity today (since my little girl is suffering from severe allergies) I finally found one that will take us — and by god, it was the BEST pediatric office I have even been to! Super nice, super fun and it seemed like they actual care about my kids. I didn’t even believe that existed! So, mark that one down as a win for this family. Lesson Learned? A good doctor is one that not only knows the doctor stuff, but knows the importance of the emotional stuff too. When you find them, don’t let them go!

The garage is clean, the yard is mowed, and the house is almost clean. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it really makes life a lot easier.

Finally got a new phone! I found out I was eligible to upgrade, so I was able to get me a “smart phone” (Blackberry Curve) for a total of $9. Sa-weet. Now I can check email from where ever… which is a step closer to getting myself ready for working at home plus baby. The next step is to set up a workstation in the living room, so I can be mobile (at least around the house). It’s going to be hard to juggle a new baby and a full time job, but with the ability to work in any room in the house, it’s gonna be a lot easier!

I have almost accumulated all the baby supplies needed for this little bundle of joy and have only spent a total of $22. Through keen shopping (ebay) and getting hand-me-downs from friends, pretty much the only things we don’t have yet are diapers & wipes! I have clothes for up to 18 months, all the furniture, 2 car seats (!!)… now I just need the baby! wOOt!!

I’ll stop there…. I don’t want to jinx myself. I’m hoping the next 3 weeks of April will be just as wonderful. I have 2 more “catch up” weeks on the books before the mountain of new, big projects starts. (Cause I can’t have a good thing for TOO long, eh?)

I forgot how hard it is to be pregnant. Or maybe the older you get, the harder it is? I was 21 when I was pregnant the first time, so I have to believe that my body was in much better shape then. Now, I’m an emotional and physical wreck. I forget everything. I cry for no reason at all, all the time. I waddle. *sigh* I can’t wait for July 30th when this baby stops sucking the life out of me. The hardest part of it all has been dealing with & accepting the fact that I cannot do everything I used to do. I used to get up at 7am every morning and take on life like a rockstar/ninja/superwoman. Now, I drag myself to do anything. But convincing myself that it’s okay to take it down a few notches has been the best thing I have ever done (hence the 3 week “catch up” time). The guilt has subsided, and I am taking comfort in the little accomplishments (hence the list above). I also revel in the accomplishments of my family, b/c they are rockstars at helping me. Even the kiddos… at 6 & 9 years old, they know more about family, love and support then many adults do. Go them!!

Ok — rambling done this time. Must go check some stuff off the list, and then sit down for a while. Cause I’m making a human here, and that’s important work.

I SOOO can’t wait for spring.

Victoria Keale — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:43:16 +0000

Since I am moving my business to this website (as of the end of this month) I had to take stock of my almost bare personal blog and start actually posting stuff!! So here goes.

Welcome March! Welcome Spring! And welcome back sanity!

My guess is that I am not the only one who goes a little bit insane in the winter. (Unless you live somewhere where it doesn’t get cold, and to you… bah.) The first signs of winter come each year and I get so excited, like this year will be different and I will be able to last without losing my mind. I am always proved wrong — b/c by January, when I realize I have not left my house in months, I am at the point where no one is safe from my wrath. (This year being worse w/the pregnancy hormones taking control).

March is here now, and I see the first day of spring in my sights. *sigh* It’s like my little piece of heaven.

So what does a winter-blues girl do when she sees spring coming?? Clean house!! And not just house-literally… but everything. I’m changing my business name, changing my services, starting new activites like yoga and tai chi, eating healthier, and also literally cleaning house.

I’m pretty excited by this year, since come fall I will have a new human depending on me. My little nugget baby should be here by August of this year (we find out gender in 3 weeks and will then retire the nugget name for an actual name).

I’ve decided that new years resolutions are for the birds, because anyone hit with the winter blues cannot handle making promises and changes and adding stress when they are still so bummed from the season… so I have decided (as of March 1st) that my new thing will be SPRING RESOLUTIONS. Much easier to deal with, b/c my attitude is better and the likelihood that I will actually follow through is much higher. (And I think the gym will not be so packed with those New Years Resolution people since they have all given up by now).

My 2010 Spring Resolutions:

Get in shape. Starting pregnancy yoga (tonight for the first time) and resuming Tai Chi. Wearing pedometer to track steps daily. Actually playing the Wii Fit every week.
Hydrate. Doesn’t sound hard, but I know I don’t consume nearly enough water, so that is my new thing. At least 48 oz per day.
Create Me time. I don’t spend nearly enough time with me. Goals include reading books again, shooting photos again, and finally getting my own ipod with my own music on it.
Teach my kids to cook. We eat out TOO much. My kids don’t appreciate food enough, and we don’t spend enough time together. So each week I am going to cook a meal with each one of my kids and actually let them do stuff instead of watch.

4 is a good number, so I am going to limit myself to those for now.

I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going… and hopefully I will report awesome things…

More mouths to feed…

Victoria Keale — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:24:11 +0000

Well, so much for the Couch 2 5K — in a strange twist of events, my dreams of running a 5K in 8 weeks have been delayed by the arrival of a little nugget of joy… that is… I’m pregnant! I’m guessing the doctor is going to say that pregnancy is NOT the time to train for a marathon… so this will have to wait until next year!

On the upside, it will make the training easier since I will not be smoking anymore. And on that note, the quit date has been raised to, well, now.

More on that in later posts… since there are more people to tell and plans to make.

~Until then!!!

Heart Attack:Eminent

Victoria Keale — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:05:04 +0000

I know for a fact that I am in the worst shape of my life.

The years have not been kind. Or rather, I have not been kind to myself all these years.

So when 30 hit like a freight train, I knew something had to be done to start fixing all the damage that I’ve spent the last 30 years creating. Fast forward now to 31, because I spent most of 30 in denial on the couch…. I have decided to become a runner.

A runner, you say? Yes. A runner. Why, you ask? Well, because in all my 31 years on this planet that is the one thing I have NEVER tried to be, pretended to be or wanted to be. I stood by the rule that the only reason I would run is if I was being chased by someone with a weapon. So I guess I figured I should go balls out and make a change that no one, not even myself, could see coming.

It’s obvious I did not think this through.

When I decided to start this, I jumped on the bandwagon called “Couch to 5K”. A plan that, if followed, would take you from couch potato to running a 5K in 9 weeks. That seemed to fit the bill for me, so starting this past Monday (11/23) I launched myself into the world of a runner.

I think I am doing pretty okay. I’ve made it through week one without collapsing, and I can already tell I’m getting better. I can actually make it to the end of my street now. (Yay!)

So here’s the part I did not think through: Someone who has smoked a pack a day for the past 15 years should probably quit smoking first.

My logic in not taking that route is two-fold. 1) I thought if I started being healthier it would be easier to stop the bad stuff and 2) Training for marathons is easier then quitting smoking. I know, roll your eyes if you have to.

It’s become exceedingly clear that a pack-a-day smoker cannot also be a 5k runner. I know I could make it a lot farther during my jogging expeditions if I was able to breathe. In fact, the only reason I have to take a break is to be able to breathe. I have to walk for about 2-3 minutes before I can get a full breath again. And that sucks.

So… as I write this and ponder my entry into week two (which requires more running), and am also trying to wrap my head around how I can quit smoking simultaneously. And doing that while I smoke a cigarette.

My goal for making it from the Couch to a 5K is January 24, 2009. My goal for quitting smoking completely (which = no relapses) is December 19, 2009.

And here we go again

Victoria Keale — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 17:14:54 +0000

It’s not that I particularly have anything to say today…. so bare with me.

However (!!) for the past two weeks I have been the only adult in my house… and my kids have been with their father 1/2 the time, leaving me to wander aimless around the house. There were times, admittedly, that I talked to inanimate objects. And now that my isolation is coming to a close, I’ve realized one major thing – if I don’t get stuff out of my head, it stays there, taking up space.

It’s during those two weeks that I spent a lot of time online reading other peoples blogs. Most of them were clients or prospects. Some of the blogs were business-y, some were more personal – but all had that common feature of allowing the writer to brain dump. Which lead me to the realization – I need to blog for sanity.

So here I am again, on my blog that has not been touched since March (!!!) and I am going to make my attempt at brain dumping here rather then keeping it in my head to stir around and keep me awake.

I don’t have a subject in particular.

I doubt I have an audience (although if you are reading this – hi!)

I’m not looking to profit.

I’m not trying to change the world.

I can’t promise you will have a revelation after reading one of my posts.

What I can promise is that I am going to be writing about stuff. Sometimes frequently. Sometimes not.

So…. that’s that.

-Until Next Time….